Finding your way- again.

Helloooooo!

Long time, no see. It’s been awhile, guys! Needless to say I started a business baking in May and it took off pretty much right off the bat and I’ve been trying to figure out this time management thing ever since. As you know, I often say- I wear many hats. The mom hat is a big hat with a ton of little hats inside of it but then I also have the writer hat, the yoga teacher hat, the gardener hat, the friend hat, the wife hat, the yogi hat, the human hat. All of these hats have very important places in my life and it’s been a challenge figuring out how to incorporate them all into my life. 

Why the baking business then, you may ask? I’ll go right to the practical side of things. I’m not sure if the post is on the new blog here- I believe it is, I’ll have to check but it was about being content with where you are even if you aren’t where you want to be. In this instance, I want land. I want a little farm. I want privacy. I want quiet. I want peace. I want more time with my husband. Covid really hurt so many people, so many families, so many lives but it also left some things behind. For me it was perspective. I had my husband home with us a lot more and we both realized even more so how much we wanted more of that and so we’ve been making plans and talking about our dreams. And while dreaming is free, often the dreams are not. Land is expensive. Farm stuff is expensive. It all requires money and while we live comfortably off my husband’s salary and save some, adding in an income from my direction makes these things happen a little- or a lot, faster. And so that’s the practicality. 

There’s a theme, a mission, a goal that comes with my business that also explains why I thought to bring this business to life and why even on very late nights I still show up. I want to support and bring awareness to local farmers and their farms and the people who work on those farms and the families who live on those farms. I buy as many local goods as I can swing into my recipes and make sure and give the farms proper credit. When people buy my baked goods, they are also supporting farms in my little baking chain. I believe the closer we are to our food, the more we know about our food, the fewer hands exchanging between our food and our table, the better we all are. Another reason is I appreciate the fact that I have two little kids watching. They are watching me dream out loud, create a plan, execute the plan, and keep pushing even when things are hard because it’s something I believe in and care about. They are also seeing me work hard for something I want. They are also seeing that mommy is more than just mommy, she’s a person with her own hobbies and goals. 

And at the core of this, the center of the heart of this business, the thing that fuels me more than the finances is knowing I am playing a part in people’s memories, connections, and families. Food is more than sustenance. Food is a part of cultures, a part of tradition, a part of families, a part in creating magic and memories. One of my customers told me one of my cobblers reminded her of her nanny. It tasted almost exactly like hers and even though her nanny died in 1993, she was there with her that night as she ate my cobbler. That is an incredible honor to me. Those words will mean more to me than any dollar I ever make.​​ That is the power of food.

So in short, this business fuels a part of me and my community and is helping me reach my bigger goals. I am finding ways to make it more manageable, easier. I am finding my boundaries, I am finding my voice, my space. I am finding out more and more everyday what works and what doesn’t. I know that if I worked everyday I could triple my income but I know now I don’t have it in me to work that much and still take care of myself and my family. I really ran myself into the ground until a few weeks ago when I hit a breaking point. I then changed my business model to be more supportive and I am learning to live with what money I make and have it be what it is instead of chasing more, more, more. And I have to say that I know very much how privileged I am to say that. And I also have to say that I know how hard that is. I know how hard it is to say no especially when you’re new to caring for yourself and setting boundaries. But it’s so important to learn your boundaries and what your personal bandwidth can handle. Be super honest about that. I wasn’t at first. I pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed until I completely burned out. My asana practice, meditation practice, teaching, time with my kids, sleep, exercise, writing- all of that went away as something I meant to hang out in the background came to the forefront and everywhere in between. I had to shift. And so here I am, back to myself, back to this space of the internet, back with you.

Even those who have studied and practiced self care for years and years struggle. We are all students and we never stop being students. It’s easy to fall off the self care train, but it’s crucial we keep finding our way back on to it. We need yoga, meditation, mindfulness, whatever it is- the most when we start to feel we just don’t have the time for it. We don’t have time to not make time for it. We don’t have the time to not take care of ourselves.

Take care of you, even when it’s hard. And if you fell off, get back up.

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